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  The Chatter Box : Blathering On
  
  
  
 
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Re: palinstravels Big Green Joke Book by Lounge Trekker on 23 July 2017 7:23pm
 

A man and his wife are talking.

W- Can you help me in the garden?
H- Do i look like a freakin' gardener?

W- Well, can you help with repairing the door?
H- C'mon, do i look like a freakin' carpenter?

Man leaves for work. He comes home later and it's all done.

M- See, I knew you could do it!
W- It wasn't me. It was John the neighbour.

H- How much did you pay him?
W- No money, he gave me the choice between sex and bread.

H- I hope you gave him bread.
W- Do I look like a freakin' baker?
 
Re: palinstravels Big Green Joke Book by ev on 31 August 2017 6:34pm
 
Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly becoming more perverse, but it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom..
 
Re: palinstravels Big Green Joke Book by ev on 31 August 2017 6:44pm
 
BTW I finally joined FB.. no joke! ;)
 
Re: palinstravels Big Green Joke Book by Lounge Trekker on 2 September 2017 1:00am
 
Johnny gets a long weekend

On a Thursday near the end of the day a teacher tells the class that whoever can name the person who said a famous quote could have Friday off.

Teacher "Ok class, who can tell me who said 'There is nothing to fear but fear itself'?

Sally excitedly shouts "FDR!"

Teacher "Thats correct Sally, you can have tomorrow off."

Sally responds "No thanks. I'm Japanese and we value our education so I'll be here tomorrow."

Teacher "Ok then, let's give someone else a chance. Can anyone tell me who said 'Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.'

Jose shouts out "JFK!"

Teacher "That right Jose, enjoy your Friday off"

Jose "No thank you, I'm a Mexican and we have a hard work ethic and I'm committed to school so I'll be here tomorrow"

Teacher "Well I guess no one wants tomorrow off. Let's continue with the next lesson"

As the teacher turns around to write on the board an angry Johnny in the back of the room mumbles "Freakin' foreigners!"

The teacher snaps around and in a demanding voice asks "Who said that?"

Johnny jumps up and shouts "Donald Trump! See you losers on Monday."
 
Re: palinstravels Big Green Joke Book by johnnyBgood! on 2 September 2017 11:16pm
 
Lol
 
Re: palinstravels Big Green Joke Book by Lounge Trekker on 3 September 2017 5:45am
 
A man notices a Mexican bookstore

He decides to go in because he has never seen a Mexican book store before.

He browses through the store and finally asks the clerk, "Do you have the book on Donald Trump's foreign policies with Mexico?"

The clerk replies, "F*** you!! Get out, and stay out!!"

The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one!"
 
Re: palinstravels Big Green Joke Book by ev on 6 September 2017 11:08am
 
My mother told me I should follow my dreams. So I went straight back to bed..
 
Re: palinstravels Big Green Joke Book by suzulu on 9 September 2017 12:15am
 
LOL
 
Re: palinstravels Big Green Joke Book by Lounge Trekker on 22 September 2017 3:16am
 
By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:


"A man who lays with another man should be stoned." [Levictus 20:13 esv]
 
Re: palinstravels Big Green Joke Book by Lounge Trekker on 25 September 2017 7:44pm
 

A Mom is driving a little girl to her friends house for a play date.


"Mommy," the little girl asks, "How old are you?"
"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother warns."It is not polite."
"OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"
"Now really," the mother says, "These are personal questions and are really none of your business."
Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
"That's enough questions, honestly!"

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend.
"Well," said the friend, "All you need to do is look at her drivers license.It's like a report card; it has everything on it."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."
The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?"

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."
The mother is again surprised and somewhat shocked now.
"How in heaven's name did you find that out?"

"And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce."
"Oh really?" the mother asks.

"Why?"

"Because you got an F in sex."
 
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